People use the term “changed my life” and “life-changing” too lightly. This Japan trip was only 10 days of my life, can I say it was life-changing? I guess that remains to be seen. But I know for sure that I am changed having gone. That it meant so much to me. That I’ve unlocked a new world and a new perspective because of this trip. I have dreamt of this place as if it’s some ethereal, other world for over a decade. I’ve loved their language since I watched Pokémon and Dragon Ball as a kid after school. Naturally, to finally make my dream come true and see and hear and be around the things I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to access…that’s truly special. That’s once in a lifetime.
Firstly, let’s talk about food. In my last post I listed the foods I ate in Japan, which were some new experiences and some new takes on well-known food. Everything was delicious either way! This is a big deal for me especially because I haven’t always had a good relationship with food. I will forever be grateful for the experience and the hands that made the food, but most importantly perhaps proud of how far I’ve come to even try the foods! The old me never would have dared. And I initiated most of the food experiences, not my husband. Go me! This is a massive step forward in my confidence and I can’t wait to go back and try even more (sadly we didn’t get around to trying sushi there, blasphemous, I know!).
Next I want to talk about cultural practices. It feels weird to go on a trip and partake in the cultural activities of that place as an outsider, but to me, it’s also important. The difference, perhaps, is how you do it. Why you do it. I think having some understanding going into the cultural practice is important so that you are respectful. Doing something “for the crack of it” and just “having a laugh in a kimono” is a bit icky for me, personally. Instead, wearing one the right way put on by experts who you respect and listen to and don’t make a joke of it, is how to do it well. Otherwise, it’s disrespectful and comes from a place of “I’m a tourist and I want cool photos and a cool story and to just do cool things” rather than, “I’ve heard about this lovely cultural tradition that sounds so honourable and interesting and I would love to learn more and see how it feels”. Maybe I’m overthinking it, but I think there are a lot of disrespectful tourists out there giving other well-meaning tourists a bad name. For example, some places in Japan have been cut off from tourists because of how they treat the areas. The Geisha district of Gion comes to mind, as tourists have been rude and cruel to geisha.
Be respectful! Be kind!
Anyway, rant over. The tea ceremony and kimono wearing experience was beautiful and informative. We learned all about the process for matcha tea making and the reason for it. That samurai would meet for tea and leave all weapons outside the room. How you show the decoration/design of your tea bowl to the host and other guests and they admire every detail, turning it left and right, all in silent gestures. How you slurp the bubbles at the end as a sign of appreciation for your tea. There is no talking during the ceremony, just bowing for respect and the displaying of the artwork on the bowls (we could talk, though, as she was of course explaining everything to us).
Our ceremony host, Sayo, also taught us the concepts of “Ichi go, ichi e” meaning, “one moment, one opportunity”. Throughout the trip, Patrick and I would reference this to remind us to take the chance and appreciate a moment while we have it. She also taught us “wa kei sei jaku” meaning “harmony, respect, purity and tranquility”, the etiquette of which and essentials for tea ceremonies and life. It was a lovely touch for her to teach us these concepts to add to our experience. I really want to know more about Japanese etiquette and teachings, alongside Shintoism and Buddhist influences to their culture.
The next thing I want to talk about is travel as a goal. For a long time, I lamented all the years wasted not travelling. I still feel a bit behind my peers in this way, but I also feel like it’s okay to slow down now. I don’t need to go backpacking across Asia and Europe and South America. I don’t need to hurry off to the next place. I don’t need to feel like I’ve wasted my life if I haven’t visited over 50 countries. Do I want to experience great things and learn about the world? Absolutely. Does that mean rushing onto planes, stressing myself out, forcing things that aren’t meant for me, or making things be something they’re not. No! The reason Japan was so amazing was because it was deeply wanted. It was well-planned. It was meant for us. Greece last year was a rushed holiday that I wanted because I was jealous that everyone else was going away. That’s no reason to do something! I want to be more considered and intentional about my travel decisions and actions, in general. That’s all. And I will definitely read books around the world and films around the world to learn and find places I genuinely want to go because I’ve experienced it in an art form first. I want to want to go so much, that the fears and difficulty is worth the effort, just like it was for Japan.
I am not a religious person. I have no formal faith. Japan has two major religions: Shintoism and Buddhism. Both really inspire me. I like their values and practices. I consider myself a spiritual person, because I like to be meditative, introspective, and mindful. I like to do yoga and meditate for the deeper meaning and experience of the practices. I use words like “the universe” and believe in signs and symbols. I guess I don’t have a solid faith to point to, but I do have a faith. I have beliefs. I trust in things I can’t see or prove. I like that the Japanese seem to appreciate and honour nature, all living beings and respecting the world. That spirits exist all around us and should be respected – I love that. I won’t pretend to know the ins and outs of Shintoism, but the togetherness and honouring I saw while out there was very inspiring. I’m not saying I’m converting to a religion, but I do want to have things that are sacred to me. I don’t want to just say I care about things but then not show it. I want everyday ways of honouring the things that are important to me. To have practices that align and connect me to a deeper purpose.
The language is, of course, a big factor for me. I learned ab initio Japanese when I was 16-18. I taught myself random phrases from anime before that! I tried to keep up my Japanese years after that, too. But sadly, when something isn’t used, your mind forgets it. My husband and I started to do Duolingo Japanese once we booked our trip. I’m now on day 124 of my streak! It’s so fun to dedicate time to actually learn a language before you visit a place. It enriches the experience. I was told by two Japanese people that my pronunciation was good! My husband said I had so much confidence on the trip, approaching people and ordering things without hesitation. I love that for me. I love that I didn’t get scared or forget. It was empowering to speak in their tongue (at least to try) rather than forcing them to speak in mine. We sort of met in the middle instead, and that’s just wonderful.
Now that’s respect. And it built bridges between us.
Where and how I live has been on my mind. We made jokes about wanting to move to Japan. I don’t think we would (never say never…) but we really did take home this dissatisfaction with where we live. The lack of ingredients for the Japanese recipes. We are now looking for ways to make the recipes work! Ways to source the ingredients. Our first day back, we tried to make Mille crepe which we tried in Japan for the first time. We planned to eat Okonomoyaki, yakiudon and tonkatsu! We expanded our palette and don’t want to go back. We want to keep practicing with chopsticks. We want to keep the zen concepts in mind. We want to ensure we return to Japan to learn even more. That even if we don’t move there, or spend months there at a time, that even when we just have 10 days we still use them to the fullest.
It was not a cheap trip. I feel lucky to have been able to go. I was genuinely worried I wouldn’t ever be able to afford to go. We are blessed. I am grateful. We won’t tell you the exact figures, but let’s say it was more than £5,000 for the both of us for 10 days (technically 9) and that includes everything. If you can afford this (we spread the cost across months, didn’t buy everything at once!), then we really recommend it. It’s worth the money.
I just adore the little things about the way Japan/the cities were run: umbrellas put out when it rains, plastic covers for umbrellas when you enter stores and restaurants, the jingle of vending machines and crossings, diagonal crossings, vending machines everywhere, bowing in thanks, great public transport systems that are clean and efficient and more. I wish my country took on more of these things.
There’s still so much more I could say about this trip, but for now, I’ll leave it here. I’m sure I will share more at another time or interwoven into my thoughts, feelings, and reflections throughout the year. Thank you for reading. Have you been to Japan? Would you like to? Let me know in the comments!
Sayonara,
S. xx
S. R. Crawford 