I made it, 29… It feels very strange. I embraced 28 a lot easier than 29. And even more strange, I’m sort of excited for my 30s. I feel like being 30+ brings with it a newfound confidence and self-assurance. The twenties are a rocky time. I’ve not enjoyed much of adulthood so far! Or maybe that’s not true. We do have a negativity bias, after all, and so I’m forgetting the plethora of amazing moments I’ve experienced so far.
But 29…
I listened to a guided meditation called “signalling a new timeline” and I loved this idea. That we can signal and embrace new timelines within our lives. Each day is a new opportunity to be who you want to be. You just have to actively choose what you want that to look like. You have to be crystal clear and intentional about what you want.
I’m still unsure. I don’t like that I’m going into episode 29 feeling unsure about some things still. It’s only natural to have doubts but I like the symbolism of clarity around a new birthday or month or season. Is it too much to ask that my last year in my 20s answers a lot of long held questions instead of leaving that residue in my 30s?
Maybe that’s just it, episode 29 is my journey to clarity. Finding ways to connect with myself more. Unlocking and acquainting myself with my spirit, my inner knowing.
This year so far I’ve done a lot of work on my self-talk, idea of myself and what I want. I’ve done hypnotherapy and counselling, listened to podcasts and audiobooks about personality changes and confidence and the like. This is all hopefully walking me in the direction of a healthy, more relaxed and confident self.
I don’t want to hold tension inside of me anymore
This will take some time to manifest, I know, as I’m undoing years of clenched fists, tense shoulders and contracting muscles. Years of a churning stomach, ever turbulent and warning of danger. A mind clouded with fog confusing my view and guiding me in the dark.
But this season of my life has to end with me working hard on that goal of clarity and less tension. Not perfection or walking into my 30s now 100% confident. But a stronger, happier, clearer me.
What I’m calling forth for episode 29 and the final episode of the twenties season of my life:
- Advanced yoga practices – try an in-person class, do advanced classes online etc
- Work on my self talk until that muscle and voice is well trained to work for me not against me
- Japan trip (dream trip)
- Playing with my clothing style for confidence and self expression
- Always Be Writing as my motto – whatever, whenever, however, just do it!
- Keep reading until I find an easy 5 star book!
- Training my intuition and inner knowing so I can trust my decision making skills
- Connecting more deeply with those I love and inviting new and positive people into my life who will enrich my journey
- Cultivating calm and peace with playfulness in my heart and soul
Sincerely,
S. xx
S. R. Crawford 