I believe a lot of things can sometimes contradict one another. That two things can be true at once but seemingly cancel one another out. The reason for this is because, well, life is complex…
Think about it, many things in life are considered both bad and good. Or are good with pieces of bad; or bad with pieces of good.
Think about your goals; they both scare and excite you. Think about love; it’s both amazing and easy while being scary and hard. Crying can be good or bad, depending on the situation. Sadness, fear, anger are all complex emotions with negative connotations that have some good laced within.
Many of the things that are real, important, deep or true will come with complications, complexities, and contradictions.
Let me explain…
There may be times in life when one thing is true, and then situations where the complete opposite is true. (I worry about anyone who holds onto one idea and tries to make it fit into every single situation.)
Take for example popular phrases, like, “You have to fight for what you want no matter what“ and “If something doesn’t work then it wasn’t meant for you.”
They are both true. But it depends on the situation.
If you’ve tried the same thing a million and one times and it’s still not working for you, then the advice that you need at that moment might not be “keep fighting” but instead to try another path or “it wasn’t meant for you.”
However, if you’ve only tried something once, then, of course, you wouldn’t say to your friend “it wasn’t meant for you” you’d instead say, “fight for what you want!”
See what I mean?
Both phrases are true and important and great advice, but it depends on the situation, the nuances, to determine which is needed at that moment.
In order to have a balanced life (which is my passion and my focus for my life), you can’t be too this or that. Too much over here and not enough over there. Too one-sided.
You need a balance between working hard and resting.
Between thinking and doing.
Between running and walking.
I believe in a happy middle. Others may not, but I do. I think peace and happiness are found there. And so, this can sometimes seem like a contradiction. Like you believe in many things at once that go against one another. When in actual fact, it’s just about balance.
Push and pull; Yin and Yang.
So, I believe in working hard but I also strongly believe in play and rest. Both can be true; again, it depends on the situation, the person, and the need at that time. And for me, happiness is found in a balance.
*I believe that balance is determined by the individual, though; it’s not usually a perfect middle ground.*
As I say, different people will have things that are real and true for them. This has been a lesson pushed on me many times when I’ve struggled to understand why a person doesn’t see my point of view. Of course, I know this is because we all see the world differently.
We have different motivations, needs, wants, fear, passions, and whatever else.
So, what someone “needs to do” could be completely the opposite to what you “need to do” and that’s ok. Knowing this should bring us comfort. It means we needn’t worry too much about what others are doing.
For your friend, she may need to run 5 times a week to feel healthy and happy. You may only run 2 times a week or not run at all and instead hit the gym. Neither of you is right or wrong in what you believe to be important/needed. (Of course, doctors recommend certain things for health but it’s generally down to the individual to find what works for them and their needs.)
If anything, you’re both right, and both wrong. The important part is doing what is right for you (as long as you’re not ignoring your true needs).
I just really want to drive home the point that many things can be true at once. I think due to our educational system we can become a little obsessed with what’s “right” because in school and tests there were right and wrong answers. But in life, in the real world with real people, things are much more complex.
There may be no right answer; there may be many right answers.
So, that’s my philosophical thought for the day!
If you’re like me and you can sometimes doubt yourself or feel low in confidence, then remember that just because someone has a different idea or belief or way of doing things, it doesn’t mean that your way is wrong. Both can exist happily together, and the more of us who realise this, the fewer arguments and more harmonious living we can all do!