“Wanting to help but scared to speak”

Hey, people. How you doing? I hope you’re okay!

I’ve heard that some white people (and white-passing people) are feeling under pressure and are overwhelmed.

I’ve heard that some are afraid to speak and get it wrong. Or some are speaking and they’re getting their heads bitten off!

Let me just say, in case I wasn’t explicit before in my other posts, I am happy with any and all allies. All forms. Protestors, YouTubers, social media shares, comments, checking on friends, writing posts, donating, people buying and reading books to ACTUALLY learn, you name it.

Doing something is better than nothing. I’m happy to see so many people trying. I’m a big trier (a failer) myself. I love triers! 

I can only speak for myself, but if someone is trying, I’d never bite off their head! That’s so not fair. How can we expect people to try to help if they’re getting attacked when they do?

If they said something problematic, I would (and have) speak to them one-to-one privately to explain why. And then I can only hope that they hear me out and appreciate how I feel (and how others may feel) about what was said.

Again that’s all you can ask for.

It’s only the people saying downright awful things that should be deserving of our anger. The overt racists!

Anger doesn’t help push a conversation forwards. Lead with compassion, love and the benefit of the doubt, where you can.

But also, white person, ask yourself: were you actually attacked or were you just being educated? There’s a difference, even if you don’t like it.


When I say we must all speak, we must all do, I don’t necessarily mean ONLINE! I don’t mean you should feel pressured into doing some big thing or say some massive thing in front of everyone online. Some people do this just to show that they’re not racist, but it’s actually empty words if it’s not followed through by action out in the real world.

What I do mean is standing up against racism when we see or hear it.

To take some of the pressure off PoC and speak up for them, too. We’re getting tired of the endless conversations we’ve had to have all our lives.

Unlike white people, we were born into the conversations about race; we can’t opt-out.


Get used to saying:

“Hey, that’s not right!”

“You shouldn’t say that.”

“That’s wrong!”

That’s what you MUST do and that is scary but what’s the alternative? Let it carry on? Pretend it’s not your fight? Doesn’t that just allow racism to continue?

That’s why people are saying you’re “part of the problem” to stay silent.


It’s about conversations with people you know. It’s listening (really genuinely listening) to the experiences of PoC that you meet.


I hope that clears up my stance anyway. Again, all allies in all forms are welcome. Please don’t be scared to stand up against racism. You won’t be perfect, but I’d rather fight for the little guy against the bullies than let it continue, right?

PoC have a pretty massive bully to fight! We need all the help we can get.


I’m contributing in the ways that I can and feel is important to me:

  • Writing and reading about race and racism.
  • I’m writing from my personal experience as a Mixed woman and having a partner who’s dark-skin black and a mother who’s dark-skin black etc.
  • From my feelings and ideas about what we can do for the better.
  • I’m reading up about the history and how people in America are treated.
  • I’m sharing what I learn as best I can, where appropriate.

I check my family on their prejudices, too. Everyone has prejudices and biases and stereotypical assumptions about communities they’re not a part of. I have conversations with my family about their experiences with racism.

I’m listening to other people’s experiences and views. Checking in on my POC friends. I’ve donated to the movement, too. Every little helps! And I’m sharing videos and podcasts and posts that I think are helpful.

That’s what I can do for now, and so I will. While also taking breaks due to emotional exhaustion, too.

So, from now on I won’t ask for people to speak. To help. You either will or you won’t from here on out. But don’t feel pressured to do it in a certain way. If you’re an ally, learn and help and stand up for the underdog and then you’re welcome here!

If you’re not, bye. Step out of the way.

Thank you.



S. xx


Share your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s