What is stuck?
- Paralysed by indecision, options, choice
- Not knowing what you should do
- Not knowing who you are
- Feeling off about something but you might not know what
- Feeling dissatisfied, angry, incomplete, tired, bored, unmotivated, etc.
- Generally not being content
*Firstly, a disclaimer. I am not someone who feels particularly unstuck for myself right now. I share this advice from what I’m going through myself and what I am (or am going to) try to do to get unstuck again.
So, here are some ways to start feeling a little less stuck in life…
The first step to feeling unstuck in life is to get some new people in your life. I can’t speak to your situation, but feelings of lostness can come from not being where you should be. Feeling outside of things, misunderstood, and generally left out.
As humans, we all have a need to belong. It’s only natural as we all need a tribe to survive. This is not to say that we can’t be alone or that independence isn’t worthy. It totally is and I’m a very independent, introverted person. But we do need a tribe. We need people who understand us, love us, accept us as we are (flaws and all), who challenge us, grow with us, celebrate with us, cheer for us, and more.
We need friends.
So, if you’re feeling stuck, it’s a good idea to look at who you spend the most time with. Are they people who make you feel good? People who inspire you? People who encourage you to be your best self? People who you truly connect with? No? Then, get on the lookout for those people. Find and make a community for yourself.
- Join a club that interests you
- Go to a Meetup of people who are interested in or do similar things to you
- Meet friends of friends (some of the best people I’ve met have been through friends who’ve said “hey, you’d probably get on with so-and-so!“)
- Go to networking events or parties/gatherings
- Generally, get outside and get social!
Life can take over at times and set us into autopilot. Then, 10 years have passed and we’ve done the same things over and over and we’re sick of it. People need variety. We need something, if only one thing, new that comes along every now and then. If you’re feeling stuck, it’s probably because things have got stale in your life and it’s made you anxious.
This doesn’t mean you need to quit your job or leave the country or divorce your wife. It means you just need to do something new.
- Write a Bucket List: list at least ten things you’ve always wanted to do or see
- Start adding new experiences to your calendar at least every other month
- Plan to do things with friends, family, love interests
- Tell people that you’re open to new things and ask to be invited
I don’t know about you, but I always feel refreshed and injected with life after I’ve been on a trip. This is because seeing new and exciting things invigorates us. It reminds us that our world isn’t so small. It opens our minds and reminds us that anything is possible, and there’s more to life than we thought.
Feeling stuck means you’ve started to believe that your life and your world is small. So, to combat that, you need to remind yourself just how big it is. Get on a plane, pack the car, book a ticket and go to see something new then take it all in.
As I said before, doing the same things over and over again can make us feel lost and confused. It can make us bored and angry and bitter. We need to do new things in order to feel balanced in life.
Working means having a routine. You work from 9-5 and then you go home, have dinner, watch TV, and then go to bed ready to do it all again. NO!
It’s fine if that’s what you enjoy, but if you’re feeling stuck, a break in your routine is imperative.
- Change what you eat in a day
- Change what you do in the evenings and weekends
- Go out to see a friend you haven’t seen in a while
- Try something new
- Join a class or group
- Throw in a walk, work out, or other activity
- Instead of watching TV, read a book
- Have “Whatever Happen Wednesdays!“
If you dread going into work each day, hate your boss, your colleagues, or the work you do, then you should think about doing something else. And don’t just think about it, make plans to make it happen and then see it through.
I think a lot of people are unhappy in their jobs, but they’re afraid to look for anything else. Trust me, I know it’s scary. The uncertainty, the potential sacrifices, the change. But consider the alternative. You already feel shoddy every day, if you can perhaps find something that’s better, why not go for it?
Work is often what we spend the majority of our time doing, so ensure yours is worth it.
A great piece of advice that I got from a podcast was that just because you’ve invested a lot of time, energy, and money into something, it doesn’t mean you should continue on with it if you hate it. More to the point: if something is making you unhappy, don’t be afraid to quit. Don’t be afraid to do something else. It’s sad to let go of a dead project, but it’s worse to cling to something that’s dragging you down.
Instead, let it go and try a new project. Give life to that idea that’s been playing at the back of your mind. Dare to venue into a new creative realm. Creativity is what has kept me afloat in my darkest days, and I bet it would do the same for you.
When in doubt, read. That’s my motto. Reading can change lives. Reading inspires, educates, motivates, energises, entertains, connects, evokes, and breathes life into us all. If you feel stuck, allow a good book (or many) to pull you out.
I know that when my mood is low, it’s probably because I haven’t been out of the house yet. As someone who’s self-employed, I don’t have to leave the house for work. But this is dangerous, lonely, and damaging to my mental health.
Therefore, if you feel stuck, try getting out more. Don’t be trapped inside your office or your home. There’ s a whole world out there, full of interesting people and things to do. Go see it.
I’m not saying it’ll fix things, but there’s a saying that goes something like, “a woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” I can agree with this because whenever I’ve had a big hair change, I’ve felt alive again. My confidence peaks and I can’t wait to get doing things.
So, make a physical change. Hair, clothes, makeup, whatever. Get a new look and see how it makes you feel. Even a little shift in energy can make a big difference.
Journal it out
The truth is, when we’re stuck or confused or lost, it’s hard to pinpoint what’s wrong. If we knew exactly what was wrong and what to do, we’d just do something about it. Instead, we often don’t know (or don’t know for sure). This is where journaling can help.
Many times, journaling has helped me to get clear on how I feel. It’s helped me to put things into perspective. As you write, often in just a stream of consciousness, you begin to see the truth writing itself out on the page. Someone once said this on a podcast and I found it very interesting, “do you tell your journal the truth?” and I was like whoa!
Tell your journal the truth because it’s not judging you. And as they say, the truth will set you free.
- Do something new
- Find new people (good people, people like you)
- Get out of your normal space and routine
- Tell yourself the truth
- Make a change or be open to change
- Breathe through it, it’ll all work out, nothing is permanent (which I know is both comforting and sad at the same time!)
Best of luck x
If you need any help in bettering your mental health, or better coping with anxiety, depression, and stress, then my book “You’re As Mad As I Am” may be for you. Check it out here, and download a free sample to see what it’s all about.
If you want to hire me to write about mental health (or other), then don’t hesitate to get in touch!