I married my best friend!

We did it. On Saturday, we finally did it. The day has come and gone by so quickly. I won’t go into the intimate details of our day, as it’s private and for our closest people to share with us only. But it was magical.

Everyone says that their wedding day was the best day of their lives. I understand that more so now. By no means do I think it will be the happiest or best day of my entire life. But it’s up there! I didn’t expect to feel so many emotions in one day. The good and the bad. Anxiety, dread, fear, excitement, joy, love, calm. I felt it all, sometimes all at once.

Anyone who knows me well or has kept up with my content knows that I was apprehensive about getting married. There is a lot of nuance to this feeling/decision. In the end, we decided to wait until I finished university so I could think and plan with a clearer head. Good idea, right? Well, this year I felt more ready. That’s the only way I can put it. I didn’t feel as much resistance about it and because other people stopped talking about it, I was able to ask myself and Patrick what we actually wanted and needed for the day.

In the end, we kept it small. There were 20 people at the ceremony at the registry office. I had the beautiful dress I wanted and Patrick the handsome suit. He finished his ensemble the day before, which really worried me, but it worked out well! No fancy colour scheme for the guests. My mom made my bouquet out of paper.

My grandad walked me down the aisle, as I wanted. I’m so grateful that I was able to do that with him, as sadly with time, you worry about whether your grandparents will still be around for much longer. I’m so happy they were there for my special day.

There were a lot of jokes and banter at the wedding. This was perfect for me. Patrick had the registrar in bits! It reminded me of why I love him; his pure, genuine energy. It settled my nerves right away. From my nephew eating breadsticks during the ceremony, to me fumbling over which hand was the right one for the rings, it was perfect! I love the cracks of imperfect things. The moments that are real and raw and unfiltered.

We took MANY beautiful photos out in the morning summer sun in the courtyard at the registry. We ate brunch at the Mailbox. We drank, we laughed, we were merry.

My anxiety set in during the middle of the day. It’s like once my mind had a chance to stop and think, it went overboard. Luckily, my mom came to help set up for our bbq and helped me to calm down. Once I was busy with my guests, I felt okay. As a very introverted person and someone with some social anxiety, hosting our first bbq with over 30 people and on our wedding day of all days, it was safe to say I felt uncomfortable! However, I anticipated this and so I walked people to their cars as they left for some fresh air. I walked the dog for some alone time. I slipped off upstairs for a breather. I think I handled it well, considering!

All in all, it was a perfect day. I couldn’t have asked for anything more. My one regret was that I didn’t throw caution to the wind and dance my sandals off during our bbq! I wish I’d danced with my husband, too. But we have years to dance together ahead of us.

Thank you, sincerely, to everyone who came for our special day. The people who shed tears with us. Those who laughed with us. Those who helped set it all up. Those who contributed in some way. Those who gifted us for our honeymoon. Those who sent lovely messages and cards and congratulations. It is all very appreciated. We feel so loved.

It’s strange because for the last three months everything was about the wedding. It was like I couldn’t see beyond it. Now that it’s done, it’s like “what now?” which is an unsettling feeling. But I am reminding myself that nothing is required of me except to just be. It’s summer break so I can do just that, take a break! Write and read and enjoy the sun and people’s company. Recharge and rest for the coming of a new school year at work, my final year of university, and hopefully an amazing trip to South Africa in the Winter for our honeymoon.

As I had to remind myself for the wedding, it’s about taking one step at a time. That’s all we can do. If I think about forever in our marriage, I get overwhelmed. But forever is composed of nows, and right now, being married to my best friend is easy.


S. xx

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