Today I am writing to you feeling amazing! If you’re not in the best place yourself, you may want to skip this post. Though I always aim to be motivational and considerate, I also know quite a few people in my life who are not in a good place right now and I know that to hear of someone else’s great place can make you feel less-than compared.
I get it. We’re human.
I’m not here to brag or succumb to toxic positivity by sharing good things from my life. I hope anyone who knows me and my writing knows that I share the good, the bad, and the ugly alike. But today, I feel good. And I think I am allowed to feel good.
As Brene Brown says, Don’t give in to foreboding joy by telling yourself that feeling good means something awful is around the corner. It’s not. It’s really not.
We are allowed to feel joy and enjoy the joy.
So why do I feel so good?
High activity levels
This week I’ve been back to work, which means being out and about. Although it was tiring after the half-term break, I’ve enjoyed the increase in my activity. This weekend, I saw my brother and we walked around the city centre for two hours! By the end of Saturday, I’d achieved over 22,000 steps.
This Sunday, I completed my first jog in… Gods know how long. I was scared, thinking I would surely fail. However, I jogged further than I thought and was able to maintain my pace and not stop to walk once! So that’s a 2.57km jog in 16.5 mins in the books! The first of the one a week that I want to keep up.
Sunday morning jogs in the Spring and Summer sunshine sounds like a dream…
As I say, the sun is coming back. Slowly but surely! There’s something so calming and inspiring about the sunshine, for me. It makes me want to do things. To go out and see people and run and play. It fills me with hope for the future.
With the sunshine, I’ve reached out more. One of my focuses for this year is to see my siblings more often. Seeing my brother on Saturday was needed. We used to be so close, but time and adulthood pushed space between us. That’s okay. But to know we can still meet up and have a laugh and get real with one another is beautiful.
I’m seeing my sister this week and then we’re having a siblings’ meal on the weekend. This is something I’m excited about. These recent meet-ups (including seeing my bestie for coffee and books) have filled me with joy. It’s not wasted time like I used to always think. It’s connection. It’s real life. It’s important. The pandemic taught us that.
My writing has felt in flow lately. My short stories for my university module have been exciting and unique. I feel like I’m creative minded so far this year. Everything is coming together. Even in revisions, making my stories stronger, I feel like I’m enjoying the process like I haven’t in a while.
I’ve been editing my manuscript from last year simply to upload it online (on Wattpad). This process has been amazing! I’ve enjoyed reading through the completed story. I regularly laugh at my own writing, and every writer knows how special that feeling is. I love the characters I wrote last year, and so I’m glad I decided to upload it, giving me a reason to read through it.
And finally, I just feel like this year is about choosing myself. Doing exciting and joyful things, for me. Things that align with who I am. Taking brave steps and trying new things not to fit some script or impress someone or look cool, but just for me. Last year I let external factors control my life and commandeer my happiness. Not this year. Not this time.
None of these things are especially life-changing or difficult. They are incredibly easy for a lot of people. But for me, they have been important. They have felt immense. They have been the foundations of my year so far, allowing me to feel good about the direction I’m heading in.