Your environment (your surroundings) has a big impact on who you are and how you feel. The same is said for our confidence levels. Our environment can make us feel more or less confident depending on what’s around us most, how we feel about it, and how it impacts our mental and emotional health.
Let’s go deeper…
Sometimes making a fix in your external world can help with moment-based confidence. This means taking inventory of what’s around you right here, right now and asking yourself if it is affecting your mood.
Do I feel confident, happy, encouraged in my environment?
- Is it clean?
- Reflective of who you are?
If not, fix it. Making a change, cleaning up, redecorating or adding/subtracting from your space can help to improve your mood and make you feel more confident in yourself and your environment.
How our Environment Sabotages Confidence
Other people with confidence or big personalities can sabotage our own, but why? I think this is because of our old-time favourite thing: comparison.
It’s the narrative that this person is so much better, cooler, prettier, smarter (INSERT THING HERE) than I am. Even if you are a relatively confident person, when in the presence of a big confident personality, you can feel less confident. Feel suddenly as though you are less-than in whatever way.
Does this mean we should avoid these people? No, absolutely not. It’s more about knowing who you are and loving that person as a regular practice. So that when they come along in your life, you may give them the spotlight but your own light doesn’t dim in their presence.
We need to also ask these questions:
What situations make me feel vulnerable and unconfident? Insecure and afraid?
Knowing what triggers you on a deep, hurtful emotional level is a key indicator of how your environment is affecting you due to insecurities or things that aren’t serving you. This is people, work, your space, energy, all of it.
Are you choosing people in your life who bring you down? People who are negative, rude, angry, unstable, jealous, or generally exude an energy that drains you?
Are you working on things that make you feel low? That aren’t in line with who you are and what you want/need? Work that makes you stressed and drained in the wrong ways, instead of feeling positively challenged and excited and fulfilled?
Are you working or living in a negative environment? That’s dimly lit, messy, dirty, poorly decorated, dark, too cold or too hot, and so on?
Are you letting other people and places affect your personal energy levels? Letting it make you feel drained, irritated, negative, lost, anxious, low or other? Do you understand your introverted or extroverted needs in terms of feeling energised? Is the energy you put onto others just as bleak? Do you walk into a room and feel off right away but continue to allow it?
Consider this: There are no real and final answers on how to live life best. Everything we do, see, think and feel is subjective. What works for Sally might not work for you. In fact, Sally, Georgie, Tom and Frank may all think and feel differently to you, but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong.
The sooner more of us low-confidence-people realise that it’s okay to be the odd one out, it’s okay to have another opinion, it’s okay for someone to disagree with us – because life and people are complicated and there is no right answer – the more happy and confident we will be in our lives!
Our perception of life is unreliable. It changes with our moods, our experiences, our education, our environment and more. What we see is a reflection of our inner world. Our minds. Our emotions. So we all look at the same thing and interpret it differently. And we must all make peace with that and stop demanding that everyone see what we see.
How to Adapt Your Environment for Confidence
Where do you feel the most confidence? Who with? Why?
You need to know these things in order to tackle your environment and confidence problem!
Knowing why you feel more confident in certain situations gives an indicator into your strengths, your strongest personality traits, your spirit, your favourite things, your knowhow, and your aligned space.
Let me explains “aligned space“. Not everyone is spiritual or believes in our personal key needs in life, but I do. I believe that there are things, people, and places that are “for us” which are best fits for us. Things that will bring us the most joy and fulfilment in life. These are the things that are aligned with who we are and what we want/need.
I truly believe that we will be our most confident in ourselves and our choices when we are “in alignment” with who we truly are and what we truly want. Yes, this could change over time, but all you need to do is adapt to those changes and be aware of how you feel and what you want, no matter what it is or how that changes.
For me, I feel most confident in the presence of my fellow fantasy writer friend. I feel most confident in my writing. I enjoy my own space and alone time and feel most confident and energised and happy alone (as an introvert who need this).
Knowing these things means I can implement that time and space actively into my life, to ensure I feel confident more often.
Where are you most confident? When? With who? How? And most importantly, why? Then, go ahead and make adjustments to make space for this in your life and watch your confidence levels shift!
Your challenge for today, should you choose to accept it, is to work from a public place. This could be the library, a cafe, the park, whatever. But work in a new setting and allow yourself to do your thing surrounded by the general public!
This week’s worksheet to complete: Confidence Challenge Week Three Worksheet
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