Many of us who lack confidence feel like we have little to no power. No power over what happens to us, over what we do, how we feel, how others treat us or see us.
But empowerment is a practice.
It’s a muscle. It’s something that can be learned and improved each day. It’s about our choices, our mindset, and our intentions.
Here are some ideas about how to give yourself power…
Being authentic means being yourself. Showing up as your true, real self without worry about validation, acceptance, or fitting it. Authenticity means striving for belonging: being seen and accepted just as you are by the right people.
Authenticity gives us power because we are actively choosing ourselves in each moment. We are saying that we love ourselves, accept ourselves and trust ourselves enough to be who we truly are regardless of how it is seen by others.
Now that’s powerful. It’s a constant message to yourself saying, “I am ME and that is perfect.”
We give ourselves power by daring to do new, exciting and scary things. Being brave means feeling the fear but doing something anyway. The more we dare to do things out of our comfort zone, the more power we give to ourselves because we are rewriting our negative, self-doubting, unconfident script of “I can’t do this; I’m not good enough.”
Gratitude practices help us to shift our awareness and focus. To see the truth, the beauty, the good; instead of focusing on the bad like we naturally do. This is empowering because it helps us to realise that we are in control of what we see, how we feel, and what we choose to manifest into our lives.
Having this skill in your toolbox means you have a way to feel joy and shift focus in minutes, and that’s some powerful stuff.
Badass Bitch list
Having a list of your accomplishments, hardships that you’ve overcome, best traits, talents, and skills helps you to know, at a glance, just how great you are.
We often forget the reality of how wonderful we are and the many great things we’ve done. But having this list out ready to see each day, helps you to never forget it again. Knowing what you’re worth, and what you’ve done, gives you the power to realise that you can do more things in the future.
Knowing the WHY behind your actions helps you to feel motivated and in control. Intentions are powerful. They are a statement to the universe that you know what you want and why, and that’s what drives you to do what you do.
Acting on autopilot or out of emotion (fear, jealousy, anger, sadness) is not a good way to live. We all do this at times, but make sure you are intentional more often than not.
This means waking up with an intention to feel stronger by the end of the day. Or with the intention to get organised and to clear the mental and physical clutter. This is not about to-do lists or goals but intentions, which are more about how you wish to feel, what you want to manifest, and why you’re doing what you’re doing.
Intentions bring power because it is a driving force that others can’t shake so easily.
A goal of reading 50 books can be disputed. But an intention to feel more knowledgable can’t.
Psychology Today says, “Boundaries can be defined as the limits we set with other people, which indicate what we find acceptable and unacceptable in their behaviour towards us. The ability to know our boundaries generally comes from a healthy sense of self-worth, or valuing yourself in a way that is not contingent on other people or the feelings they have toward you.
- Intellectual worth and boundaries (you are entitled to your own thoughts and opinions, as are others)
- Emotional worth and boundaries (you are entitled to your own feelings to a given situation, as are others)
- Physical worth and boundaries (you are entitled to your space, however wide it may be, as are others)
- Social worth and boundaries (you are entitled to your own friends and to pursuing your own social activities, as are others)
- Spiritual worth and boundaries (you are entitled to your own spiritual beliefs, as are others)
Know your limits and be assertive about them.”
This is not about being rude or hurting others. It’s about protecting yourself and what you need. Asking for what you need should never be hard or disputed. If it is, then perhaps the people you’re trying to set boundaries with don’t respect or love you as much as they claim to.
Having clear boundaries is empowering. It gives power over what you need from yourself and your life.
Stop seeking so much advice
The frequency with which you ask for advice from others is in direct correlation with how much self-esteem you have. Those with more self-trust, confidence, and self-power will trust their own decision-making abilities.
And this isn’t really about big life decisions. With big decisions, it’s natural to ask for advice. But if you ask for advice for big things like what job to take, right through to the small things like what to eat for lunch, then you are actively sending your power away.
You are saying to yourself, “I can’t make good decisions“. And in saying that, you’re saying “I’m not good enough to make decisions on my own” which is a very bad message to yourself.
Give your power back and trust your gut to make the decisions that are right for you. After all, no one else must deal with the consequences of your choices. This means it’s down to you.
I hope this helps with how to give yourself power. Empowerment is a practice. It is a choice. It is possible for us all. Just decide that you’re capable and worth it.