Many believe that their self worth is tied to two things: One, how much money they make; and Two, the awesome things they do.
Even if you disagree with this, I believe that most of us subconsciously do attach our self worth to these two things.
Firstly, our money. Think about it, money controls the world. If you have money, there’s seemingly nothing you can’t do. You don’t have to struggle to make ends meet and you can relax knowing your life has no immediate troubles that are inside of your control.
And then there’s the things we do. We believe that those doing awesome things are living better lives than ourselves. When we do get round to doing awesome things or “the right things” by societal standards, then we can’t wait to shout out about it.
This is things like travel, exceeding in education, interesting jobs, dating someone attractive, creating something new and exciting, eating awesome foods in awesome places, exciting activities like skydiving and surfing, and so on and so forth.
And so, you feel pretty worthy when you have a healthy amount of money in the bank, and when you’re doing exciting things in your life; Instagram-worthy things.
But I’m here to remind you of some other ways to think about when it comes to your self-worth, especially in times when you don’t think you have any.
I know what you’re thinking, no random stranger that you found the blog post of online is going to make you feel good about yourself purely because they said so – even if they do say it in a super wonderful way!
And it may seem hypocritical because I lack self-worth a lot of the time. But that is the very reason why I’m writing this. I needed to see my self-worth, and you need to see yours…
My first way to accurately determine your self-worth in a more healthy way is to consider your accomplishments. Some may disagree about this being “healthy,” but bear with me here.
Accomplishments can be anything. What you see as an accomplishment is personal and valid. An accomplishment can be anything from climbing Mount Everest to getting out of bed on the day you wanted to die.
Accomplishments are our own. We decide what is and what isn’t (unless, of course, you’re in a particularly bad stage of low self-esteem and you don’t see any of the wonderful things that you’ve done as accomplishments, in which case I’ll decide what is an accomplishment for you and by-god have you got many!)
I believe that our accomplishments give us insight into our self-worth.
Again, some may not like this one. Some may be thinking, “so someone with no friends or family isn’t deserving of self-worth?” Hold on there, partner!
I believe that in a lifetime, we will all form thousands of relationships with people. Relationships can be anything. Mother, daughter, boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, acquaintance, colleague, classmate, the boy from yoga group, the girl from the gym, the man from my corner shop, the woman who cleans my windows…
And I believe that you can decide on your self-worth based on how you make these people feel. Not by which relationships last or how many awesome people you know. No! Instead, how you make people feel.
If you make people feel good, no matter who they are or how you know them, then in my book, you’re pretty worthy.
Actions speak louder than words (at times) and I believe that your actions speak to who you are.
You can see your worth in what you do. If you hurt people and commit bad crimes and come at the world with a damaging hand then no, you’re not worthy.
But if you come to the world with kindness, growth, and the intention to heal and love – then please see yourself as worthy!
Lastly, there’s your value. Not monetary value, but real value. What can you give? What do you provide this world, the people around you, the animals, the energy, all of it?
Again, I’m not saying you have to leave this huge mark on the world like Martin Luther King Jr. but you do need to give some sort of value to the space you occupy in this world.
Value could be like giving good advice. It could be creating art of any kind and sharing it. It could be being kind to strangers in the street. It could be giving to the needy.
If you bring value to people’s lives and the universe around you, then you are worthy, to me, and hopefully to you, too.
So, I see myself as worthy. It may be hard to do that at times, but I know deep down that I am. I now want to work on my self-worth, with these ideas in mind.
Yes, money matters. Yes, many of us want to do awesome things with our lives. But what I’m saying is, it is not these things that make you worthy. It is so much more that does.
And so, I hope that one day you will see yourself the way I do.