I find that perspective is the most important tool to checking yourself (or rather, getting yourself in check). As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found my ability to check-myself and put things into perspective has increased tenfold, and I’m writing this IEG article today about perspective because this morning I finished reading “The Fault in Our Stars”, my old friend Tahlia’s favourite book.
I say old friend, not because she passed away three years ago, but because I had known her since we were toddlers. We grew up together. My mom taught her how to ride a bike. We went to the same primary school, the same senior school, and she was very present and important in my life, even with our differences .
Perspective for me has become strong since her passing. A twenty year old girl was taken from the world due to an illness. It’s horrid. It’s cruel. We all knew she would pass before 40 but it was Tahlia, you know? If anyone would survive and stick their middle finger up to Cystic Fibrosis it would be her.
But alas, it took her.
And I hated myself because I didn’t get chance to meet up with her one last time before she passed. We spoke, and if there was any bad energy before, it was long gone. I forgave her for our somewhat troubled teenhood, and she was over my leaving our friendship group. We moved on. We were adults and we were happy for each other.
It’s so special that she read the first edition of the first book in my Eternity series. She popped up to me and was enthused about it. It felt amazing that she was still supporting my dream after we hadn’t spoken properly since school.
I could go on about our time together and how unique our relationship was and how awful it was to hear that she’d passed and how I broke down at her funeral in 2015, but that’s our business. She knows how I feel.
The reason I bring her up is because these days when I feel crappy and get tired and feel low – I remember her and how she was ill her whole life but it never stopped her from living.
When I don’t feel like writing, I remember how she believed in me and how she too was a writer who had her voice cut short. And so, in her honour, I must continue to write. Always. It would be a slap to the face not to.
Not everyone has someone who can help them to put things into perspective, so I’m here to help.
There are so many people who aren’t able to live as we can, and so we must live instead.
Stop wasting time being angry with people you love (or people you don’t love, especially), as it just doesn’t matter enough. It just doesn’t. What if they got sick or were hurt and you couldn’t see them again? Would all the anger have been worth it?
Put your anger into perspective.
Put your sadness into perspective.
Put your unproductive days into perspective.
It’s easier said than done, I know. There’s days when perspective doesn’t happen, but at least try. For some reason, I’ve been bitter and angry lately but I put my emotions into perspective and realised that I’m angry for internal reasons, not external, and I can’t take it out on others.
It really helps to be honest with yourself and do this for yourself, too.
Ways to gain perspective:
- Appreciate that there are many of those who are less fortunate than you and though everyone’s problems are valid, it can help you to drown a little less in them when you consider this.
- Think of those who are gone. You have life and they’d give anything to have it.
- Watch films.
- Do Yoga.
- Speak with a friend.
Doing these things can help to clear your head and gain some perspective. A clearer, wider view of your life, your problems, your actions, and your purpose.
These things are important for a better life. They’re important for being a better person. You will be in better control of your emotions, too. A lot of people are bad people without realising it. They’re bitter, angry, selfish, poisonous, negative and sometimes downright awful. But perspective helps you to realise what you’re doing and thinking, in order to move forwards with a better mind.
When I put things into perspective, I realise I have a lot to be grateful for. I have achieved a lot for my age and where I come from and what I have. I’m lucky. I should remember that. I should hold on to that. I will always try to have perspective in trying situations, and you should, too.
So please, try.