September’s song slips over the hill. She’s on her way. And as much as coffee dates and jumpers feed my soul, I’m terrified of summer’s end. Why can’t I have it both ways? The endless days of summer, alongside the cosy autumn vibes? Because the colours rust, orange, and burnt yellow are my favourite. A kaleidoscope of colour cyclical in nature captured in one short season. What a mood! And Halloween. Oh how the spooky, dark aesthetic enlivens my creativity. I want to write about demons and ghosts and the afterlife. October is laced with obligations and deadlines, though, as university comes back to busy me. I don’t mind. I enjoy the work. But September and October, with all their beauty, team up to steal my time and energy.
How the cruel Gods do jest.
This September, I plan to slow down. This year has been good to me so far. Full of opportunities for growth and saying yes despite my crippling fears. But it’s time to slow down now. End gently. I’ve been alight this summer. Waking early and writing. Writing this, writing that. Writing always. It’s the summer fires burning within my sacrum. My creative chakra. But as September’s song plays around me, I must learn to dance a gentle waltz to the melancholy music.
Read but not to some goal, speeding through and not enjoying the words or the characters I’m spending time with. Giving myself permission to relax and settle back into the routine of work and being around people. To tend to my needs first and foremost. The end of the year feels full already, and so I mustn’t fill it to bursting. Let myself have afternoons, though infrequent, in quiet.
I’m going back. Back to the spirituality/philosophy/psychology self-education from the past. Tending to the interior energies and systems because the exterior has taken priority lately. They need equal attention. One cannot work without the other. September is my chance to do that. Before university begins, tend to your inner garden. Water the flowers so they may bloom brightly; prune the dead branches so they won’t destroy the whole.
Refocus.
Inward.
Breathe.
Peace.
Ease.
Root.
I don’t need to fret about ending my year on a high. I’ve had an amazing year already. I have things on the cards that will ensure my year still challenges and pushes me towards growth, beauty, life, and love. And so, I can sit in the non-doing state. One of effortless action, ease, gentleness, and meditation. I want to end the year having read one great book, rather than ten more so-so or poor ones. I want to end the year feeling positive about my creative works, not happy simply because I hit a word count. I want to do yoga and keep jogging and improve my strength, but not to keep up with the Joneses at the gym who are sculpted and fit. Instead, to feel good within, focus on my own metrics for success and self-worth.
Let September’s Song be kind to the spirit and enticing to the heartstrings. Let it make me drift onto the dance floor with a smile on my face, knowing no one is watching; I am alone bar the gentle support of my nearest and dearest. I twirl, and swirl, and cast my face toward the heavens knowing come rain or shine, I still grow (for I need both).
Come rain or sun, I rise.
Come rain or sun, I smile.
Come rain or shine, I dance.
Inhale, 1, 2, 3, 4
Hold, 1, 2, 3, 4
Release, 1, 2, 3, 4…
Summer is not ending. September is entering. September is offering her compassionate hand to me and I will take it willingly. Let us dance slowly until I feel ready to start running again.
Sincerely,
S. xx
S. R. Crawford 