I hit the snooze button, over and over again.
I snap and lash at my partner and my family.
I eat a lot.
Or not enough.
Then I beat myself up for being unproductive.
I cry, a lot.
I tell myself that I’m this and I’m that, only using the ugly words, of course.
I get angry at myself for being this way.
I sit in the dark and the grey.
I wear comfy clothes and don’t bother with makeup or doing my hair.
I put off the “healthy morning routine” of reading, yoga, exercise and meditation.
I feel this dry, stinging in my eyes.
I just want to sleep the day away.
I look at my work or plans for the day and sigh, knowing they’ll go undone.
I hate myself and cry every time a little thing goes wrong.
I watch tv and say, “f*ck it, I don’t care.”
But I do care; that’s the problem.
I care that I’m unproductive.
I care that I woke up late.
I care that I was aiming to do this and that and feel great but I don’t.
I care that I ate those biscuits when I shouldn’t have.
I care that I have a deadline coming up that I want to meet so badly.
I care that it’s 11am and my to-do list has only one tick.
I care too much.
And so I’m angry. So angry.
When I’m low, I’m not me. When I’m low, everything slows down. When I low, all my emotions shoot to the surface. And it feels so overwhelming. And it feels like it’ll last forever.
Luckily, though, it won’t.
It never does.
If you need any help in bettering your mental health, or better coping with anxiety, depression, and stress, then my book “You’re As Mad As I Am” may be for you. Check it out here, and download a free sample to see what it’s all about.
If you want to hire me to write about mental health (or other), then don’t hesitate to get in touch!