“How are you?” You ask
“I’m just tired“
I say.
Again.
Except, hidden in those words
Is so much more pain.
Something much deeper than
“just tired” could ever be.
Cuz I’m tired of being tired
Tired of needless drama
Tired of being in pain
Tired of pretending to be stronger than I am
Tired of being strong for other people
Tired of fixing everyone else’s problems
Tired of worrying
Tired of being used
Tired of feeling scared
Tired of crying
Tired of doubts
Tired of insecurities that won’t let up
Tired of comparisons
Tired of overthinking
Tired of being seen as a villain
Tired of other people’s problems becoming my own
Tired of caring
Tired of others not caring about what I have to say
Tired of being disappointed and dissatisfied
Tired of being wrong
Tired of being judged
Tired of being used
Tired of trying to be pretty enough
Tired of being stupid
Tired of a world that doesn’t understand
Tired of a society not fit for my personality
Tired of losing
Tired of failing
Tired of waking
Tired of trying
Tired of being emotional
Tired of being “too sensitive“
Tired of seeing hate and pain in the world
Tired of writing poor sentences
Tired of trying to be motivated
Tired of being everyone’s hero
Tired of feeling out of place
Tired of the ridicule
Tired of jokes that just aren’t funny
Tired of proving myself
Tired of the fear of the unknown
Tired of the millions of thoughts I have each second
Tired of being jealous
Tired of not being enough
Tired of the universe’s games
Tired of the constant trials
Tired of being uncertain
Tired of rejection
Tired of setting alarms
Tired of trying to be better than yesterday
Tired of lacking outfits
Tired of being unappreciated
Tired of being seen as less-than
Tired of being shaped into someone I’m not
Tired of fake smiles
Tired of biting my tongue
Tired of being alone
Tired of being crowded
Tired of forcing productivity
Tired of having to explain myself
Tired of explanations not being enough
Tired of being afraid
Tired of being sick
Tired of feeling weak
Tired of being treated like a child
Tired of being treated like I’m fragile
Tired of the hustle
Tired of working hard to no avail
Tired of mistakes
Tired of never doing or being enough
Tired of writing why I’m tired
And so I’ll stop.
You want me to stop,
Don’t you?
No one truly cares
Enough.
No one wants to know
What you’re really feeling.
And so, I guess
“I’m fine,
I’m just tired.“
S. R. Crawford 