For a long time, I was called the “nice one” or people would say, “Siana is just so nice!” and it would upset me. Why? Because I saw nice as a synonym for boring, basic, dull. That I wasn’t the funny one, the smart one, the cool one, the pretty one…just the nice one, and that sucked.
But more and more lately, I’m realising how great this is. Here’s why I’m embracing being known as the “nice one” now…
It pays to be nice
You catch more flies with honey, so the saying goes. I’ve found that it’s true. I have old friends from school who I can still be friendly with. If I ever needed something, they’d help if they could. Because I’ve never upset anyone or burned any bridges, those bridges remain and it’s good to have them there if you need them.
People don’t mind doing things for you when you’re nice. You’re never (I don’t think…) the topic of gossip or drama. It’s a simpler life, I’ll tell ya!
Niceness feels rare lately
Listen to this week’s podcast episode to hear my take on the state of the world. It feels like everyone is angry and bitter or sad and low. People are hurting one another. People are dividing rather than uniting. People are being selfish and small-minded and not thinking about others and the wider picture.
Kind, good, loving people are rare, beautiful gems right now.
I’m not saying they’re not out there. But it FEELS rare. Especially on social media and the news, which is wide spread. So, I want people around me to feel good. If they see me as nice and know that I’m kind to them, that’s perfect.
People need nice people the most
We all need humour and pretty people to fancy. We all need inspiring, talented people to motivate us. We even need mean people to help build our resilience and self-belief. But above all, we all need kindness in our lives. In our hearts. We need to know that people are fundamentally good, otherwise we live in some Dystopian world that feels too grey to live in.
When we are at our lowest, we need someone to care. To support and be there and listen and be kind when we can’t be kind to ourselves.
Being a good person is all that really matters
In the grand scheme of things, isn’t life just really about being a good person? At the end of the day, I want to know I made people feel good and valued. Humour is great medicine, and I’d like to think I’m pretty funny (I make myself laugh, anyway), but kindness, goodness, that makes the world brighter.
I want my children to be good, nice people above all
And again, the fact that myself and my partner are known for how nice and good we are, means that I have no real worries about our children being good, nice people, too. That’s such a lovely thing. I want my kids to make people feel good. I want my kids to be the light in the world, too.
Nice is not a synonym for weak, sensible, boring, or pushover
As much as people believe differently, nice is not another word for something dull and easy to manipulate. I’m nice but I know what I want and what’s okay and what’s not. Yes, it took me a while to set up boundaries with loved ones who I lived with, but other than that, I am good at choosing myself and what matters to me first and foremost.
Nice people can be strong. Nice people can be funny, and experienced, and sexy, and talented, and cool, and whatever else.
Nice is a way to act in the world – to make things feel easier and kinder in a life that can be cruel – not a single personality trait that makes up a whole person. Remember that.