All or nothing thinking
If I can’t write 1,000 words, it doesn’t count.
If I can’t run for over 1km, it doesn’t count.
If I can’t read over 10 pages, it doesn’t count.
If I can’t go for a walk for 30+ mins, it doesn’t count.
Silly all or nothing thinking has held me back from success because doing something is always better than nothing! Minimising the task, habit, or achievement still “counts” (whatever that means, really!). A little goes a long way and adds up to bigger results in the long run because if we keep to our all or nothing thinking, it will mean we are choosing to do nothing a lot of the time.
Thinking too small
Many times in my life I have thought my options were limited. That I had to take this path or that one, with no others out there. What a shame! Life is abundant! There are so many options, paths, experiences, and lessons to learn out there. Thinking too small or too narrow or limited will only cause stress, fear and sadness.
Think bigger. Explore your options. Realise that there’s so much more out there than you originally thought based on what you’ve already been exposed to.
Thinking too big / short term action to big reward
On the flip side, especially with my writing career, I have a tendency to think too big. Too grand. To skip ahead! At 18 (which is a pro and con), I was sure I’d be an international best selling author before I was 25! I’m now 31 and no closer to that goal than I was back then.
It’s perfectly normal and good to think big, as stated above, as long as you also realise the steps to getting there. Most people aren’t overnight successes. Most people lose the weight, get the publishing deal, or make enough to quit their day job over years of hard work.
You can’t expect to do a little bit of work and be granted everything you dream of. Some lucky few may get this, but the majority of us average folk will need to put in a lot of work. Work that will be hard, long, frustrating, disappointing, upsetting, and trying at times.
Keep going anyway
Expect things to take longer than you thought, but that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re normal.
Stopping instead of continuing momentum
When I’ve built momentum in the past online, I’ve gotten bored or run out of ideas or slipped off the habit and lost momentum. Once things are going well for you, don’t stop! Keep going! Whether that’s in building an audience online, writing a novel, running habitually, or reading every day – just keep going.
I appreciate that the hard work we put in isn’t always sustainable at the same speed or frequency. What matters is that you don’t stop completely. Be adaptive and flexible, not all or nothing as I said above.
Failing to upskill / dedicating time to improve
We all want to be great at the things we want to do but we want to be great RIGHT NOW! That’s not how it works. If you’ve never done something before (or have very little experience), chances are you’re gonna suck at it! Let yourself be the beginner. Let yourself learn and make mistakes (yes, sometimes publicly, which doesn’t feel good). But it’s the only way to grow.
Failure to upskill, train, learn, practice, reflect and pivot is self-sabotage
Mastery comes from taking step by step by step across time, building your skills as you go. It’s never wasted time either. We all want fast results but failure to try or trying to short cut is the fastest way to making the process take longer, ironically!
Comparing myself to others & jealousy
I’ve wasted so much time wishing I had what others had. Worrying that I’m not as good as they are. Thinking I’ll never be as pretty, funny, clever, lucky, talented, [insert thing here] as they are to succeed. Whether it’s someone’s well-presented social media and YouTube videos; their charisma; their publishing deal; their pay check; they body shape; their 5km time: I’ve compared it all!
What a waste of time and energy!
Instead, we should be using those we want to be like (or their careers we want for ourselves) as a road map to success.
Get inspired instead of green with envy!
What did they do to get here? Study their steps. Look at what might be working for them and see if you can adapt that for yourself. Then take action.
I also believe in karma and energy. That if we are berating and feeling negative emotions towards another who has what we want, we are blocking our ability to receive good things for ourselves. So instead, congratulate that person. Help them get even further. Be inspired and happy when you look at their success and then the right paths will open for you, too.
Sincerely,
S. xx
S. R. Crawford 