Some wear their fears on their sleeve. We see their sweaty palms, pale faces, chatting teeth, rigid frame. Some are attacked in silence every day. Every night. Never free. Fear is tricky. On the one hand, it’s our friend m, right. It keeps us safe from danger. Reminds us what’s at stake. But more often… Continue reading How to exorcise the demon Fear
Tag: perception
Gratitude for a slow Sunday morning
I didn’t sleep well. Therefore, I let myself sleep in so I had at least a few hours’ sleep, but getting up at 9am feels late to me. I immediately felt regret and upset. Like a day wasted. But that’s not fair to myself at all. So let’s correct that negative energy with some gratitude…… Continue reading Gratitude for a slow Sunday morning
Why I need to lean into my weird
I want to live an unconventional life. Maybe “want” isn’t the right word but I’m drawn to one. I’ve accidentally already been unconventional. That’s the word my mom has used. I took an unconventional path for my university degree by dropping out of traditional university twice, then starting an Open University degree aged 24 and… Continue reading Why I need to lean into my weird
Racing, racing, racing
I’m panting, breathless. My legs hurt from this race that will never end. I hopped into your lane at some point; when was that? But you’re too far ahead to see. I’m sure you lapped me when I wasn’t looking. Maybe when I was crying about my failures. Maybe when I was napping in a… Continue reading Racing, racing, racing
Maybe we can never truly understand ourselves
The mind, the brain, it’s a crazy thing. We use it to understand it. What a paradox. How utterly impossible a feat. Psychology aims to understand and categorise but I fear we never will, and that’s both beautiful and terrifying. We have all these convenient hacks for the brain. How to optimise the mind. I’m… Continue reading Maybe we can never truly understand ourselves
Sunday night gratitude and reflection
I’m grateful for the weekend I’ve had. I’m grateful that the roads weren’t bad and we got there safely. I’m grateful I was able to sleep and be more sociable the next day. I grateful for the special people in my life who make it that little bit more interesting. I’m grateful for the clear… Continue reading Sunday night gratitude and reflection
Ruining things for ourselves
Expectations are a dangerous thing. I think it’s one of the biggest causes of misery. We expect things of ourselves, others, and our lives and then we get disappointed when those expectations aren’t met. It can also work negatively by expecting something to be bad or to go wrong, when actually it might be the… Continue reading Ruining things for ourselves
Glory
Should I be ashamed that winning makes me feel this good? That applause and acclaim is what I chase? Adorn me with medals, shower me with praise, so that I may feel something akin to glory, instead of the same sad story of loss. I can’t gloss over this moment of triumph and desire. A… Continue reading Glory
Old friends knocking at the door
I know Insomnia, she is an old friend. Insomnia and I would face the darkness together each night, tucked up in bed, watching the walls for shadows. She and I would make up these stories about monsters and villains, and then my heart would race and I’d pull the blanket over my head, toes curled… Continue reading Old friends knocking at the door
My mistake!
Assuming I knew best Not joining clubs and putting myself out there to make and maintain likeminded friendships Going to sleep angry instead of fixing things Publishing my books too early (creating an expectation and desperation too soon in my writing journey) Not keeping up my athletics/sports Not reading more during teen and early adulthood… Continue reading My mistake!
S. R. Crawford 