Download the Finding Clarity Workbook for a guide and questions related to this series of posts to find clarity in your life.
So here we are at the end of the series and I wanted to share any last nuggets and ideas for you to take away with you. Thank you for making it this far…
What gets in the way of our values, agreements and metrics and healing?
- Unawareness (not being aware of what you’re doing, saying, thinking, feeling or why; or what others are doing etc.)
- Lack of being present in the NOW
- Lack clarity (being clear and specific)
- Too much/ no essentialism
- Aspirational versus practised values/ not practising what you preach
“Aspirational Values” – the elusive list of values that come from best intentions
“Practiced Values” – what we actually live, feel, behave, and think
So, be careful of what values you choose and which ones you’re actually practising and choosing actively on a daily basis.
Set yourself free
You are the sole determiner of your choices, happiness and fate. Finally giving yourself permission to determine your life, your metrics for success, and your happiness does one grand beautiful thing: it sets you free.
You cut the strings that held you anchored to this society of rules and assessments and Dos and Don’ts and agreements and the outdated and wonky ways of living. They just imprison you. But the funny thing is, we all listen and walk willingly into that prison…
In reality, we are all the wardens of our own lives. The judge, the jury. We determine what’s alowed, what’s right, what’s best, what success looks like, and what happiness is. We’re not kids anymore and so we get to hold the power, give ourselves permission and set ourselves free.
Your clarity system
What are the tools and tricks that are personal to you for when you need more clarity in life? Some to consider, and ones that I use are:
- Questioning (asking yourself specific, deep questions and keep going deeper with WHY),
- Your support system of loved ones,
- Brain dumps
Clarity comes from simplifying your life, your options, your thoughts. This means having less to think about and consider. Less to overwhelm and clutter your mind and space. This makes decision making easier.
The key to clarity is knowing the right questions to ask and when. The right, intentional, focused questions.
A good string of questions includes a why. An honest asking and answering to WHY.
Most of the time I think we know the answers to our questions. The hard part is knowing the right questions to ask ourselves.
Journal and thought prompts
Check out my journal prompts and worbook page to get your thoughts rolling.
Check out journal prompts online.
Check out the journal and thought prompts in Sacred Powers, one of the first books I read for this series.
Untethered and Non-attachment:
Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael Singer
I’ve only just finished reading this book at the time of writing this, so I didn’t want to talk too much about something so fresh. Plus, I’ve taken less notes with this one, as it’s a bit too spiritual and philosophical for practical life advice! However, I do recommend it to all of you. It is a great book for those who do want a spiritual take on life; those who want clarity through being unattached to who you think you are…
You are not your thoughts, feelings, past, or future. You are simply the witnesser, the watcher, the seer of these things. You, the real you, is just consciousness. You are the thing that hears your thoughts, not the ‘person’ speaking.
As I say, this is a complex thing to explain, so please go listen if you’re intrigued, but some topics it discussed and for you to consider are:
- Letting go: let things pass through you without resistance instead of letting it sit inside of you
- Be in the seat of awareness
- Stop fighting for or against; or protecting your pain
- Witness a thought or feeling or experience, and then move on, let go
- Open your heart, don’t let it close
One of the key things I’ve taken from this book and have thought about a little (but need more info about) is non-attachment. Not being unattached, which makes me think of disengaged and disassociation. That sounds like not caring. But we should care, just about less things (see the values and metrics posts).
Instead it’s not being attached to a goal, an outcome, an identity, a person, a thing, and so on. Recognising you don’t need anything because you, your consciousness, is and has all that it needs. You can’t be upset and frustrated if you weren’t attached to getting that job, getting married, moving to New York, that dog, that book deal, that hair growth, that 1000 Likes on Instagram, winning that race etc…
It’s not giving up or giving in; it’s letting go…
Dos and Don’ts from now on:
- DO keep trying to find what works for you with trial and error.
- DONT let others decide what you should value and how you should determine your success.
- DO trust without holding on too tightly
- DONT hold on to everything and keep problems and hate inside
- DO let things pass through you
Things to research (I am too):
- Shadow Work
- Spirituality as a whole
- Buddhist teachings
Thanks for your time, I hope we both can find more clarity in our lives.
Download and check out my workbooks and journal prompts to help you dive deeper and analyse your beliefs and emotions.