I feel this need, this sense of urgency to retreat inward. To go off the grid and be solo for a while. Not to post. Not to share. Not to outwardly be working on something. Not to be defined by, and have my time dictated by, grades and essays. Not to be working on the… Continue reading Retreating
Tag: emotion
Repeated life lessons
In 2022, I was reminded that people don’t think as I do. We are not all the same, even deep down. Some people will villainise you. Some people will look off in another direction and see something you don’t see, while saying you are wrong. Some people have stubborn minds. Some people are hurt so… Continue reading Repeated life lessons
Self-Censorship
I wrote a long reflection post about my time in South Africa. But I deleted it. I felt censored. I felt afraid to say the truth of my experience. I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, even though my feelings were hurt many times on and around the trip. It’s lead me to writing this… Continue reading Self-Censorship
Tired of the battle with myself (journal entry)
Why are we so hard on ourselves? As if life isn’t hard enough as it is! We cut ourselves down with a sharpened scythe, hoping to fit in with people and places that don’t value us. We try so hard, gasping and screaming and gripping with blistered fingers at the edges of what we think… Continue reading Tired of the battle with myself (journal entry)
What’s truly scary (motivation for the last 2 months of the year)
You know what’s scarier than getting on the plane? Never having left your hometown and widened your perspective. To stay small and inexperienced, not understanding, on a deeper personal level, the other cultures and beauties in this world. That’s terrifying. You know what’s scarier than publishing a book and being judged? Not publishing and bearing… Continue reading What’s truly scary (motivation for the last 2 months of the year)
How to relieve feelings of Seasonal Affected Disorder (Low mood due to seasonal changes)
I've suffered from SAD for a while now. It's not always bad for me, it depends, but I am hyperaware of the change in the season, weather, and the length of the days. It's darker, colder, and greyer, so it's not so surprising that it makes us feel low sometimes. If you, like me, want… Continue reading How to relieve feelings of Seasonal Affected Disorder (Low mood due to seasonal changes)
Coping Techniques: Where to put your anxiety
I was thinking today that it sounds nice to think of coping with your anxiety as "putting it somewhere". Not getting rid of it, because anyone who suffers from anxiety knows that's not always possible, but putting it into something. Putting it down. Putting it behind a curtain for a while. Just kindly leading it… Continue reading Coping Techniques: Where to put your anxiety
My toxic best friend (rumination)
Oh anxiety, the toxic friend who doesn’t understand that you don’t want to hang out with her anymore. She cares about you. Wants the best for you. But she doesn’t realise that all the screaming about the coming of wolves and eagles, is bringing the wolves and eagles to us. I tell her to shut… Continue reading My toxic best friend (rumination)
September’s Song (journal entry)
September's song slips over the hill. She's on her way. And as much as coffee dates and jumpers feed my soul, I'm terrified of summer's end. Why can't I have it both ways? The endless days of summer, alongside the cosy autumn vibes? Because the colours rust, orange, and burnt yellow are my favourite. A… Continue reading September’s Song (journal entry)
Careful with complacency and fixed ideas
I’m re-realising that I need to be careful with the stories I tell myself about myself, other people, life, and the world. This narrative I’m creating about who I am and what I want. The lies. The fears that speak so confidently that I think they’re true. That I’m a weak person. I can't handle… Continue reading Careful with complacency and fixed ideas
S. R. Crawford 